Preschool

The 'before' picture.

On Monday, Maddy went to her first day of preschool. All summer long we've been talking about it, playing 'school' at home and telling her what to expect. She was excited and in the morning she was in good spirits. She indulged me in some "first day of the preschool" pictures before going and even a short video clip by the car. When we got there, she quickly went to the craft table and was too busy to even smile for the camera. (Yes I know, I was one of those parents who even brought the camera to the school) Anyway, when I left she was happy and sticking letters to a piece of paper. I thought things were great and that we were golden.

Uh oh. Think again.

I got there a little before dismissal time and when I first went in, they were sitting at circle time. At first, I wondered where Maddy was. Then I noticed she was sitting in the teacher's lap and crying so hard that she was doing that weird breathing thing. Noooooo! Ugh, it was so sad the way she came running to me. Talk about breaking your heart. :( I wanted to make sure that we we didn't leave with her crying like that so we stayed until she calmed and made sure she said bye to her teachers. One teacher commented on how she wished she could have some of the noodles that I told Maddy we were going home to eat.

You wouldn't think so, but this was the 'after' picture once we got home.

At home, it was a fine balance between not talking about going back, because she'd say more and more about how she didn't want to go; and talking about preschool so that it wasn't a surprise when we did go back. Not easy. The upside to all this was that Maddy was super loving towards me and told me over and over that she loved me (She's usually a papa's girl). Anyway in an attempt to get her to try again, I told her that she could bring some of the noodles to Kim. She agreed on the condition that I stay until she found a friend.

So we got there today and she was ok going in. We gave Kim the noodles (Don't worry I told her quietly not to eat the old leftovers) and then settled at the craft table again. Shortly after, I told her it was time for me to go. Oh Boy. Clinging-to-me, tons-of-tears, begging-me-to-stay. It took a lot of strength to give her a good kiss, tell her I loved her and walk away without looking back. Ugh, I felt like crap going back to the car with Ethan. :(

The whole time I was dreading going back to pick her up in case she had another bad day. I knew we'd be in trouble for getting her to go again on Monday. Thank goodness things were way better today. She was sitting at the circle (on the carpet) and talking to the teacher. When she was dismissed, she came running over to me, "Mama, I didn't cry today!" Oh the relief!!

Anyway, this turned out to be a longer post than I thought, but I wanted to save these memories for Maddy later on. I love you Maddy, I hope you continue to have awesome days at preschool.


Edited later on: It's been two steps forward and one step back. The day 3rd day she cried all over again and I was so thankful to have even gotten her there. At the end of the day, she was totally fine and had a great day. On the 4th day, she was trying so hard to be brave. I saw her little lip quiver as she bravely waved bye to me. At the end of the day, she came running over to me, "Mama, I didn't cry at all today!!" Things are better better slowly. We can now mention the word "preschool" without a flood of tears. This is definitely the universe paying me back for the what I put my own mother through.